There are ten people who appear when you make a gender specific post. They are sometimes connected to you directly but most are strangers and only comment because it is a public post. They make Facebook fights tiring and interesting too.
1. THE ANTAGONIST: This person is just angry and it’s not just with you and your post. It’s because “his” trouser tore at the nyash level while he was going for a meeting with one girl he wants to chyke. It is because “she” was ignored by one guy she’s trying to give green light with pouting and very generous showing of asset. She’s a very supportive person of the asset declaration of people. Eherm… Other issues include not eating breakfast or having garri in the morning with no groundnut, no light for one month plus, no sex the previous night with their “other”, car splash poto poto for their body. Add that to your post “attacking” their sex and world war two will start.
2. THE COWARDLY SHADER: This one will never directly address you or the post. Na to dey shade up and down. They are so tiring they’re best ignored but sometimes you just want to address the children and tell them to grow up.
3. LIE MORE HIGH MEDS: (culled from that famous politician Lai Mohammed) – These ones will flip from one view to the other making no sense and no points and all the while lying about their true intents. Box them into a corner and you’ll eventually see what they are saying. Eg. “I don’t support domestic violence but the way women talk is just somehow.” When you address that he says; “well what of men? Do they complain when abused?”. Address that and he says; “Women are plenty who don’t complain. They love the man and pray for him, so what’s the issue?”. Push further and his “madness” becomes clearer. Then again, it was always clear. He was just lying about it.
4. BITTER KOLA PEOPLE: These ones have some grouse/deep seated hatred for the sex you’re addressing and they use the chance to spew all of it on the thread. They are the only ones who cannot “see” they have issues.
5. NDI FEMINIST: EVERY POST about men or women is about how feminists are supreme. E dey taya pessin to dey read am.
6. FEMINIST HATERS: These ones attribute EVERY DAMN POST talking about something women do wrong as proof that feminism is evil and such women are stupid.
7. BALANCERS: This one will tell you how and why the post isn’t balanced and needs to address the other sex. They only appear when their sex is the one under scrutiny. When it is the opposite sex the post is OK, articulate and well balanced.
8. SEERS: These persons SEE everything about the post plus what was never there. They are the type that will go as far as telling you what you really meant by what you posted.
9. FFK: This person will argue the most ridiculous and incredulous of points with no proof or any sensible pattern of clear reasoning.
10. GALA SAUSAGE ROLL SELLERS aka BEEF CARRIERS: These ones range from people whose arguments you’ve decimated before, to people who toasted you and you didn’t agree. Even people who just don’t like something else you’ve said or posted will come now, link it stupidly and call you names.
#WelcomeToFacebook.
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