Of Nigeria and Mathematics

There is no doubt that Nigeria has had a longstanding romance with Mathematics, the mother of all sciences. Since 1914 when Lugard merged the protectorates, unequally, as though equal, calling that which was not as though it were, Nigeria and Nigerians have been solving, rather inconsistently, the two-thirds of simple numbers. For instance, if the North is about twice as large as the South, and consequently makes about two-thirds of the entire landmass, should they still be merged as equals?

Of course, by now we realise that that unequal merger was the beginning of our woes, with some people believing in utero and afterwards that they are born to rule. Hence, the first coup and the ones thereafter. Hence the attempt by some to secede either with Maitatsine bow and arrows, or with Biafran war guns, or more recently with Boko Haram bombs. Hence, the belief that no measure, however extreme, even insurgency, is too farfetched. We must be equal to be heard, after all...

So that by the time Obasanjo came in '76, it was glaring that we needed a lesson in Arithmetic, we needed to know how different two-thirds is from half; how significant a two-third majority is, especially since we have a constitution of two-thirds; and more importantly, how to derive the two-third of such numbers as 19, 35, 26– numbers not easily divisible by three; to be sure, a number is only divisible by three IF the sum of its digits is itself divisible by three.

This, Obasanjo sought to inculcate by establishing the Universal Primary Education, launching it in Lagos in September '76. But it was a case of too little, too late, for three years later, on the 26th of September, '79, the justices of the Supreme Court in the legendary Awolowo vs Shagari suit effectively ruled that two-thirds of 19 states was 12! But, just to be certain, ⅔ of 18 = 12, and since 18 ≠ 19, ⅔ of 19 can veritably not be 12!

The constitution dictated that to win a presidential election, the candidate needed to have at least a quarter of the votes in at least each of two-thirds of the states, 19 at the time. Shagari had had that prerequisite in 12 states, and had believed himself fulfilling of the law, especially since he had more than a quarter of the votes of two-thirds of Kano, the thirteenth state; how a state was to be divided into thirds however became the isu-ata-yán-an-yàn-an, yam-pepper-scatter-scatter. Awolowo had tried to make Shagari see that his Arithmetic was flawed. Of course, the Supreme Court agreed with Shagari!

In retrospect, if Obasanjo had launched his UPE in Sokoto, the home state of the Turakin Sakkwato, just maybe Shagari would have saved us future generations that ugly precedent. Just maybe Turakin would have known how two-thirds of 19 could not have been 12. Even the Mathematical Segun Odegbami knows that a shot one foot short of the goal post is no goal, however much it might be eight inches, two-thirds of a foot, close...

Anyway, come '99, Obasanjo expectedly inaugurates his Universal Basic Education scheme in Sokoto, apparently to forestall another episode of arithmetic deficiency. It was a good attempt, notwithstanding, but history cannot be rewritten... It is another case of wrong place, wrong time...

This time, he probably should have gone to Otuoke, wherever that is. Had he done that, just maybe that man born in '57 and who recently clocked 57 would know that 16 is never greater than 19, until inverted, and members of the Nigerian Governors' Forum were humans, and not ballot boxes; that two-thirds of Ekiti's 26 is never 7, neither is that of River's 33, and our courts are better at Arithmetic these days, thanks to UPE; that stealing ≠ corruption, not in Mathematics at least; and that not every money in $ is America's, America does not have to know that our money is missing, or that our subsidies are yet unaccounted for, even as there are plans to take more...

Of course, Mr. Speaker too must know that the Speaker is chosen from the majority party in the House, and is not a familial title, even if he is born to rule. That when he defected, he left the majority party in the House. That the height of that fence his supporters scaled gave them enough potential energy to lose their balance, become immensely attractive to the earth, and meet the floor in rapture-like shock... Just saying; in case they plan to do more of (such) jungle gymnastics...

But then, what happened when the Chlorophora excelsa of Ondo defected beneath the umbrella, did he lose it all?

Perhaps Mummy Ngozi too needed to brush up her Arithmetic to have known we were (going to be) broke right when she was singing All-iz-well like those characters in 3 Idiots...; to realize that pushing for a cut in our legislators' cut of the national cake is a more effective austerity measure; to convince Mr. Clueless & Mrs. Back-from-the-Dead to let go of most of our Presidential Fleet– àbí e nefa too cost ni...?

Ah, yes, the bogus, sorry, extreme remuneration with which they have re-numerated, sorry, over-prioritized themselves must also go. That way, there'd be less incentive to scale fences, and less invective in the hallowed Chambers:

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"SALARY OF NIGERIAN SENATORS

Basic Salary (B.S) - N2 484 245.50

Hardship Allowance (50 per cent of B.S) - N1 242 122.70

Constituency Allowance (200 per cent of B.S) - N4 968 509.00

Newspapers Allowance (50 per cent of B.S) - N1 242 122.70

Wardrobe Allowance (25 per cent of B.S) - N621 061.37

Recess Allowance (10 per cent of B.S) - N 248 424.55

Accommodation (200 per cent of B.S) - N4 968 509.00

Utilities (30 per cent of B.S) - N828 081.83

Domestic Staff (70 per cent of B.S) - N1 863 184.12

Entertainment (30 per cent of B.S) - N828 081.83

Personal Assistants (25 per cent of B.S) - N621 061.12

Vehicle Maintenance Allowance (75 per cent of B.S) - N1 863 184.12

Leave Allowance (10 per cent of B.S) - N248 424.55

Severance Gratuity (300 per cent of B.S) - N7 452 736.50

Car Allowance (400 per cent of B.S) - N 9 936 982.00

TOTAL MONTHLY SALARY = N29 479 749.00 ($181 974.00)

TOTAL YEARLY SALARY = N29 479 749.00 x 12

= N353 756 988.00 ($2 183 685.00)

EXCHANGE RATE: $1 = N162

LEGISLATORS PAY WORLDWIDE PER ANNUM

Britain - $105 400.00

United States - $174 000.00

France - $85 900.00

South Africa - $104 000.00

Kenya - $74 500.00

Saudi Arabia - $64 000.00

Brazil - $157 600.00

Ghana - $46 500.00

Indonesia - $65 800.00

Thailand - $43 800.00

India - $11 200.00

Italy - $182 000.00

Bangladesh - $4,000.00

Israel - $114 800.00

Hong Kong - $130 700.00

Japan - $149 700.00

Singapore - $154 000.00

Canada - $154 000.00

New Zealand - $112 500.00

Germany - $119 500.00

Ireland - $120 400.00

Pakistan - $3 500.00

Malaysia - $25 300.00

Sweden - $99 300.00

Sri Lanka - $5 100.00

Spain - $43 900.00

Norway - $138 000.00

In terms of lawmakers’ salaries as a ratio of GDP per capita, the gap is even much wider. While the salary of a Nigerian lawmaker is 116 times the country’s GDP per person, that of a British member of parliament is just 2.7 times.

The average salary of Nigerian worker based on the national minimum wage is N18 000.00,

So the yearly salary is N18 000.00 x 12 = N216 000.00 ($1 333.00)

Remember, Yearly Salary of Nigerian Senator = $2 183 685.00

Proportion: $2 183 685.00/$1 333.00 = 1 638

It will take an average Nigerian worker 1,638 years to earn the yearly salary of a Nigerian Senator."

Source: The Economist [as edited by: #Ayk_EDIT]

***

Are Senators and co no longer public servants? Shouldn't they be on the Civil Service Salary Scale? Why not?! One only prays these figures are wrong; but are they?

Let us stop calling the spoiling of the plantain its ripening; ògèdè nbàjé, e ló n pón... Let us starve their protuberant tummies, and see who really want to serve... Let us solve Mathematics...

Any questions?

Ayk Fowosire

@adelayok